


Yearning, It's a Need

by CasperElle



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, Good Friend Clary Fray, Jealous Raphael Santiago, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, M/M, Manipulative Camille Belcourt, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Clan, Protective Raphael, Sexual Content, Simon Fantasizes, Simon is the clan's baby, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Supportive Magnus Bane, i dont know what i am doing but oh well, please don't hurt me if the characters suck, simon is magnus' and alec's son, this fic is kind of sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-26 17:47:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13862754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasperElle/pseuds/CasperElle
Summary: Simon knew he betrayed his family. No, not his mother and sister. Not Clary and those at the Institute, his family. Raphael and Lily, Stan and the others. He didn't know how he ended up like this, just that he was here in Magnus' care, crying his eyes out in Alec's arms as Magnus slowly put his room back together with magic. He needed Raphael, the one who would help him through the nightmares, the one who would tell him to stop fidgeting. He needed back into his clan, but to do that, he needed to be forgiven. And he was going to just that, even if it took him to the ends of the earth.





	1. Yearning, It's a Need

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first story involving the series, Shadowhunters. Try to be nice please and constructive criticism would be great!

Simon remembered the time when he was a mundane, a human. He remembered going to his and Clary’s special café and stuff his face with a double stack cheese burger with extra chili cheese fries. He hated thinking of those times now. It was like a slap in the face, everyone whom had had a life, a normal human life, with him looked at him with those eyes. Eyes that were disgusted by his presence, by the fact that he was alive. It was then that he remembered the time when he lived at DuMort. He could walk down the hallway and smile back at everyone who waved or said hello. Their eyes were not condescending, they were warm and bright, and it had felt like home. That’s how he found himself in Magnus’ home he supposed. He remembered it like it was yesterday, and in a way, it kind of was yesterday. He had approached the warlock at three in the morning soaked by the rain with red cheeks and blood shot eyes. Immediately, the cat-eyed warlock had rushed the wet vampire into his apartment, yelling for Alec to grab some dry clothes and a blanket.

That was yesterday. He remembered.

“Simon, sugarplum, are you ready to get- Oh you’re already awake.” Magnus’ voice was bell like, soft and resonated through the person he was talking too. Simon was leaning hands on the dresser. His eyes had bags underneath them, his cheeks looking a little bit sunken in. He had eaten and despite taking the blood Magnus’ had given him, he had simply thrown it down the sink and washed away the red ambrosia with water. Magnus and Alec didn’t know that yet, he had a feeling that they suspected something though. Taking an unnecessary breath, Simon lifted his head to looked back at Magnus who had gone quiet.

“Simon…” His voice had softened even more if possible.

“Don’t. I don’t need to hear it. I’m fine.” Simon’s voice was tired. There was now underlying happy tone, no smile, no crinkling in the corner of his eyes. Pushing himself up, Simon ran a hand over his face and mumbled to Magnus,

“I am going to go by the Institute, gather the little clothes that I have there.”

“No. You’re not. You think I haven’t noticed you not eating? I am not an idiot sugarplum. Alec has blood bags waiting for you. How are you supposed to get accepted back into the clan if you’re dead?”

Simon teared up then. The blood rolling down his cheeks in big fat globules. As soon as Magnus’ arms opened up, Simon had found their way into them.

“He hates me Magnus. He doesn’t want me alive. How can you say that when there is a price over my head?”

Magnus sighed then, his cheek resting on the soft brown hair of the once human. He remembered that night just as well as Simon. He remembered the fledging coming to his home in desperate need of help, in desperate need of a home. He knew that if Simon was not accepted back into the clan, things were going to go south. Simon’s vampiric body was going to reject itself should he not have a clan.

“Raphael was just hurt. Hurt and confused. He has not been leader for about two months before his advisor decides to betray him.” Magnus sighed, he knew this wasn’t helping but Simon needed to hear the truth.

“I know you’re hurting Simon but imagine how Raphael feels, how Lily feels.”

Simon pulled back a bit and nodded, “I understand.”

Simon smiled weakly before he slowly made his way out of the room that was so barren. Vaguely he wondered in Raphael destroyed his room back at DuMort. He wouldn’t put that below the vampire to do such a thing.

“Here, I got some blood milkshakes from Taki’s.”

Glancing at the male, Simon could tell the taller of the two felt bad. He could practically smell the pity coming off him in waves. Shaking his head, Simon grabbed one of the cups and said softly,

“Thank you.”

Simon offered the Nephilim a smile then. One that didn’t quite reach his eyes, but enough for Alec to recognize that the said male was trying.

“Of course. Who else is supposed to annoy us with those endless movies you watch?”

Simon had chuckled then, his mind relaxing only slightly as he took a sip of his milkshake. It was delicious of course, already the blood was healing the internal damage form starving himself. That made his body relax even more. He was no longer in physical pain. One that didn’t render him into a pile of whimpering mess during the night (day) when he is trying to sleep. Nodding to Alec, he stood, grabbing the other four cups in his arms before treading back to his room. It was then that he noticed the small sticky note attached to the mirror he had used earlier this morning to look at himself.

_Simon,_

_I understand you’re hurting, but if you want to win Raphael’s heart back, his trust, then you need to stop acting like a fledging. I believe in you._

_Magnus_

Magnus was right, all he needed was to try. He wasn’t going to sit here like… Like a _baby._ He may still be a fledging, but it was time to do what he needed to do. He was going to get back into his clan and earn their trust back. No matter what. For a brief moment, his lips quirked up. He remembered all the times that Magnus would call him everything but Simon.  Simon sighed softly and rubbed his face a bit before he looked down at the milkshakes. He remembered when Raphael first took him to taste Taki’s.

No. He couldn’t think of Raphael right now. He couldn’t think of his jackets, the red and gold jacket that he seemed to cherish more than the others. He wasn’t going to think about his plush and plump lips or how his on tongue rolled the word idiot in Spanish when they were training. He just wanted to get Raphael to forgive him!

He didn’t know how to do that. It was like he was back to square one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So update, I finished changing the chapter and I now hope everyone enjoys the story!


	2. Yearning, It's Like a Disease

Simon didn’t know how this happened. It was a Saturday, Magnus should have been out at a party with Alec. He should have been with them, but instead he was pinned against the wall of a shady alley with Raphael holding him by his throat. He should have thought this through.

Thinking back six hours earlier, he replayed how he got here.

“Simon, I understand you’re angry, but you haven’t even tried talking to him.”

Magnus was right, oh God how he hated that Magnus was right. He didn’t get it, he didn’t want to try. Raphael wants him dead, wants him gone. Simon screamed then, his hands curling over the edge of the desk as he launched it into the wall. Grabbing the mirror as he slammed it down, not caring as it shattered over the floor. His vision was red, his body was weak but the adrenaline that was coursing through him helped him gather the bed and flip it until everything was destroyed.

He didn’t remember anything after that. When he came to, it was like a tornado had gone though his room. Magnus was in the doorway watching him as Alec gently gathered him into his arms. He didn’t realize he was crying until he noticed the red smears on Alec’s shirt and arms.

 _“No llores.”_ Alec’s voice was soothing, but it didn’t sound the same. In honesty it reminded him of the Spanish that Raphael would speak to him. It didn’t sound right, he didn’t smell like fancy cologne with an underlying scent of old books and parchment. When he spared a glance at Magnus he was slowly waving his hands, clouds of purple dust swarming around the room as the room slowly put itself back together.

“Magnus-…”

Simon didn’t get a chance to apologize.

“Don’t worry about it Simon. I think this is what you needed. Get dressed, you’re going with me and Alec to Pandemonium.”

Simon couldn’t find it in his heart to decline. He nodded slightly and smiled a bit at Alec before he rubbed his eyes and pushed himself up. He didn’t even notice he was on the floor. He must have fallen, or his body must have given up on him if he was on the floor.  Dusting away the imaginary dirt on his body, he smiled softly at Magnus who had gently patted his cheek before turning and leaving to get dressed.

It must have taken him a moment to get dressed cause when he walked out of his room, Alec and Magnus were already waiting for him. He had decided to use the suit Raphael had lent him when he had attended the wedding as Clary’s date. Despite how many memories, painful and happy, he decided to wear it. He figured it would help ease the ache in his chest.

“Ooh, how adorable, you look like sex on legs.”

Simon sputtered for a second. Magnus just called him sex on legs. Dear Lord, what was going on in this world? As much as he wanted to deny it, he couldn’t help the blush that stained his cheek bones.

“Shut up. Can we go now?”

Simon had meant for the words to be harsh, but alas his voice box had betrayed him, and he ended up squeaking the words out. Magnus had laughed, Alec cracking a smirk as the warlock grabbing their hands and tugged him through a portal Simon hadn’t noticed he made.

Immediately he regretted saying yes. Despite remembering _something_ from his training with Raphael, he still had trouble with maintaining his heightened senses. The loud music and the boom of the bass made his ears ring, but he figured it was a good ringing. Smiling a bit, he watched as Magnus tugged Alec down onto the dancefloor. Looking, around Simon saw that he was closer to the bar.

Looking back at the dancefloor, he knew he had a better chance of avoiding people at the bar. Making his way over to the neon blue counter he sighed when the bartender, a Seelie by the scent, asked him,

“What can I get you, doll?”

Simon didn’t know what to get, he just wanted blood. Just as he was going to decline wanting anything, a familiar accented voice interrupted him.

“Two blood martinis.”

Simon was almost afraid to turn. Afraid to turn and come face to face with a certain vampire named Raphael Santiago. He didn’t have much of a choice when the said vampire said,

“It’s polite to thank. I had assumed your mother taught you something.”

Simon looked then, his brown eyes coming to look at the pale skin of Raphael. He didn’t look much different. He looked the same, his lips still looked soft and plump, his eyes were hard and cold, his arms were hanging down by his sides.

Raphael must have noticed how sick he looked, how dark the bags underneath his eyes have gotten, because Simon saw then, the softening of his eyes as the elder traced his face with a worried look. It was wiped away immediately.

“What’s wrong, traitor? You seem out of it.”

Simon couldn’t withstand the insult and couldn’t help the flinch that racked his body. He didn’t expect Raphael to use an insult. He didn’t expect the word traitor to leave his mouth. He expected his usual nickname, he expected Baby or fledging, but even then, that was too much hope. Raphael had every right to call him a traitor and he was at fault if he thought that Raphael was going to even think about calling him baby with that fondness he once used.

Simon didn’t answer, didn’t move when the Seelie had set the glass down in front of him. Instead he pushed himself away from the bar and turned to Raphael. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Stan and Lily, dancing.

“Raphael, I-…”

It was like his throat had suddenly closed up, everything he wanted to say, everything that had been clouding his mind for the past week had suddenly formed a large lump in his windpipe.

“I’m sorry Raphael. I didn’t know what I was doing- I didn’t think Camille was- I understand you hate me but I just-…“

Simon couldn’t get his words out. He guessed that’s how he found himself in this current moment of having Raphael pinning him to the wall with a clawed hand around his throat. Simon’s had expected this. Had expected Raphael to find him sooner or later and end his pathetic Downworlder life.

He found that he didn’t mind. He found that he was okay with Raphael killing him. He voiced it, too.

“It’s okay Raph.” Simon’s voice was soft, soft and tired. “It’s okay. I’m fine with this. End it. End it right now. Erase me from existence, I’ve burdened you long enough haven’t I?”

He must have surprised Raphael because suddenly the elder vampire was yanking his hand away as if he had been burnt. Simon didn't get a chance to say anything cause before he knew it Raphael was walking away.

“Next time, I won’t be so generous.”

Simon coughed, taking in unnecessary breaths as he looked up. Raphael was gone of course. Simon slammed his hand on the floor and started sobbing. He must have been pretty fucked up if he was breaking down in an alley just outside of Pandemonium. That’s how Magnus and Alec found him. He didn’t know how long it had taken them, but he was suddenly being lifted and was slowly carried through the purple portal into the comfy loft that belonged to Magnus.

He blacked out then, hearing a soft murmur of,

“Don’t worry _cariño._ Me and Magnus are going to take care of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am probably going to start editing the chapters a bit more! I feel like they aren't good enough


	3. Yearning, It's a Desire

Raphael didn’t know what he was doing exactly. He had never seen Simon as bad as how he just saw him. Yeah, when Simon was living at DuMort and was basically starving himself, he eventually cracked. Or snapped when Raphael and Lily had to forcibly get Simon to drink blood.

The leader of the clan was in his office now sitting at his desk where papers were neatly stacked and organized, his clawed fingers gently tapping and raking against the darkly polished wood. It was like his body was humming and vibrating. Raphael didn’t know why, it was like he was giddy. Glancing down at his hands, the image of Simon up against the wall whimpering flashed before his eyes. He could feel his fangs digging into his bottom lip as they popped out.

The face that Simon made, how he unconsciously bared his throat and tilted his head back as he spoke to the stoic leader. The Spanish speaking vampire had to forcefully shake his head to clear the thoughts that had suddenly flooded his thoughts. He didn’t want to think about how good Simon looked baring his throat to him. He didn’t want to think about how his dress pants were suddenly tight on him. Or how he imagined Simon sitting on his knees in front of him, apologizing for something that didn’t require anything of the sort.

“Get out of my head!”

Raphael’s hands slammed down on the desk and he had to force deep, calm, unneeded breaths through his lungs. Raphael sighed quietly and looked around. It was almost four in the afternoon; the clan was already asleep. Now is the perfect time. Standing quietly and running a hand through his hair before he walked out of his office with crisp clean steps.

He didn’t stop his travels until he was standing outside of a familiar door. Raphael stared at the knob for a moment before he had reached out and gripped the cool metal in his hand. He didn’t know how long he stood there before he had slowly walked into Simon’s old room. It took almost all of Raphael’s will power not to cry when the scent of his fledgling hit him. He couldn’t describe the scent. It was thick and heavy but not unwelcoming. Comic books and the smell of the wood from his guitar. It kind of smelt like Sandalwood.

Raphael didn’t know what to think of the room. Simon’s bed was unused despite the wrinkled mess of the navy-blue sheets. Comics and old books were laying across his desks, the baby’s laptop halfway closed with music sheets askew. Raphael figured that God was trying to punish him, or maybe he had just turned his head to far, but Raphael could see the suit he had once let Simon borrow for Magnus’ boyfriend’s wedding.

“You know, idling won’t make him come back any faster.”

Lily, his second in command. Raphael didn’t hear her, he tried to hide his surprise and uneasiness of how easily she had snuck up on him. The boy was not even here yet here he was distracting him.

“He’s a traitor to his kind. He chose those _Nephilim._ He chose them over us.”

Raphael didn’t even care how bitter his voice sounded. He simply turned and said to Lily, “Go back to bed. I have business to take care of.”

It appears his second-in-command didn’t believe him, but after a short moment she gave him a curt nod and turned walking away. Looking around, Raphael had gently grabbed Simon’s backpack and started to pack away a few of his things. His laptop, a few comics, even a few shirts and a few packets of blood. Raphael didn’t know what he was doing, just that he was suddenly knocking on Magnus’ door before running away like the coward he was.

He didn’t know what he was going to do.

_“Mijo, donde esta tu amigo?”_  

Raphael didn’t realize his sister had asked him a question until he had looked at her to see her waiting for some sort of answer. He didn’t want to think about Simon or how he dropped off his bag the previous night.

“Don’t worry about it Rosa. You should worry about your tamales getting cold.”

Even now, after living for so long, he still cared for his sister. With what little blood he had left, he could feel the soft tinge to his cheeks when she had given him a look. She knew something was wrong. He could tell, however, he refused to allow his sister to know about his burdens. She was already well in life, he wasn’t going to ruin that. Looking at his watch, he sighed before leaning down and kissing Rosa’s cheek.

_“Adios, mi Rosa. Nos vemos la semana que viene.”_

Raphael said the words with a soft kindness none of the clan knew he possessed. Smiling at her with a gentle fondness, he turned and left the house. Stan and Elliot waiting for him via car. His expression was already cooled to that of a stoic one.

“Take us back to the hotel.”

Raphael leaned his head against his fist and watched as Elliot nodded, before turning away from the window. A text to his phone had him blinking, before pulling it out and reading what it said.

_From: Magnus_

_You shouldn’t have run off like that my poor boy. You should have given it to him in person instead of leaving it at my doorstep._

Raphael had narrowed his eyes, his face turning into a scowl. Deciding to not pay attention to the message, he pocketed his phone and rubbed his temple. Vaguely he could hear Simon in his mind, _do vampires get headaches?_

“Boss, we’re here.”

Elliot’s timing was a good one, for Raphael had gotten out and slammed the door a little harder than necessary as he made his way up to his bedroom. He needed to get out of these stifling clothes. He needed to get Simon out of his mind. He needed to get the image of Simon begging him. His hands twisting in his sheets as he begged Raphael to forgive him while the said vampire was busy doing things with his fingers that was making the younger’s voice crack and crumble.

Raphael pulled off his clothes, minus his boxers, the moment he got to the safety of his bedroom. He didn’t bother grabbing any other clothes to dress himself. He just laid on his bed, hands by his side, his traitorous erection straining against the thin fabric. He refused to pleasure himself. He refused to tell him that he forgave Simon already. He refused to believe that Simon was sorry.

Rolling onto his side, Raphael shoved his pillow under his head and sighed as he forced his eyes closed. He was already losing sleep. He couldn’t lose anymore. He had a clan to run and he wasn’t going to waste his time thinking about the fledgling that ruined ~~his~~ the clan’s life already. He didn’t notice, but he had fallen asleep. It was like his body was thanking him, for he was allowed peaceful dreams instead of the usual nightmares he had been gifted with the weeks before.

“Raphael!”

The yell was loud and panicked and it had Raphael up and dressed in sweats in a blink of an eye as Lily threw open his door. By her attire, he knew he slept well into the night. The panic in her eyes allowed him to forget his door slamming into the wall.

“Simon tried to kill himself!”

Raphael could feel his body tense as his undead heart sunk. His baby tried to kill himself. Raphael grabbed his jacket, ignoring the fact that he was shirtless as he yanked on some shoes.

“Get the car ready! Grab bags of blood! A lot of them, the _idiota_ probably hasn’t been eating.”

The way Lily’s shouldered slumped showed relief, her leader wasn’t going to cast Simon to the side, not this time. With a watery, relieved smile, she yelled for Stan and Elliot and ran off to do what was needed.

Raphael and Simon needed this. She wasn’t going to let either of them ruin it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> "Mijo, donde esta tu amigo?" - Son, where is your friend?  
> "Adios mi Rosa. Nos vemos la semana que viene." - Goodbye, my Rosa. I will see you next week.  
> "Idiota" - Idiot


	4. Yearning, It's an Ache

When Raphael arrived at Magnus’ loft, he could feel his undead heart sink when he saw the Warlock holding a crying Simon. Looking close enough, Raphael could see the faded tear tracks down the older man’s face. Alec was gently cleaning off the blood from the floor, faded bite marks on his wrist.

“Simon.”

Raphael watched as Lily ran to the fallen vampire and pulled him close. She was crying as well, big fat bloody tears rolling down her face as she stroked the baby hairs at the back of his skull.

“Oh, Baby.”

The nickname seemed to make Simon sob harder as he slowly looked up at Lily with wide broken eyes. Raphael couldn’t seem to take such a broken look from the usually chirpy Simon, for he was suddenly walking towards him and yanking him into a hug, his grip tight, suffocating. Fatal had Simon been a mundane.

“Raph? Raphael?”

Simon’s voice seemed to crack as his hands came up to grasp at the man’s jacket, leaving blood stained hand shapes. Raphael held Simon against his chest, whispering soothing words into his ear as he felt Simon press his face into his neck. The fledgling was taking in his scent, he could tell by how he felt Simon’s muscles relax.

“You’re here. Right here.”

Raphael could feel his heart break a little more as he pulled back and stroked his cheek.

_“Si, estoy aqui. Siempre estaré aquí.”_

Raphael whispered as he kissed his temple.

“You need to feed Simon. You’re so weak.” Raphael gestured to the scar tissue that had yet to heal.

Pulling out a thermos, he sighed and gently opened it. Sinking to the floor, he brought Simon into his arms and forced the thermos to his lips. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lily talking to Magnus and Alec. The said warlock gently wiping away the tears that stained his face.

Alec seemed to be glaring at him, before turning to Lily and hissing something to quiet that even his vampire hearing couldn’t pick it up. Not from this distance. Sighing quietly and listening to the quiet gulps that Simon took, he leaned back into the couch and mumbled quietly,

“Don’t ever do that again, _idiota._ ”

Looking down slightly, Simon nodded before pulling away when Magnus walked up to them.

“Come here, my sugarplum.”

Looking at Magnus, Simon started sobbing again, launching himself into the warlock’s arms. Slightly worn boots soon came into his vision as Alec said tersely, “May I have a word? Now.”

Raphael knew it wasn’t a suggestion. Pushing himself up off the floor, he followed the said Shadowhunter into the kitchen, grunting when he barely had time to brace himself as he got pinned to the fridge, the taller man’s forearm pressed to his throat.

“You vile leech. You’re the reason he tried to off himself!”

The words were said with harsh syllables and an angry expression as he slammed the vampire leader harder against the fridge.

“I should kill you now for hurting my son.”

Raphael couldn’t help but raise his eye brows a little bit at the title Alec used. Alec either didn’t notice he used it or either didn’t care. Taking a deep breathe he pulled away and sighed before he rubbed his temples and said to Raphael.

“You hurt my son, I will not hesitate to kill you.”

Rubbing his throat, Raphael sighed and shook his head, “You don’t have to worry about that. Because Simon is coming home with me.”

For the first time in his life he felt uneasiness by being around the tall Shadowhunter. This was Simon’s friend, the one who protected him when that werewolf couldn’t.

Magnus walked into the kitchen sniffling, a tissue in his hands. He looked at Raphael and smiled a bit.

“Take care of my baby boy okay?”

Raphael nodded a bit before he looked back to see Lily leading Stan and Elliot to Simon’s room to gather his things. His fledgling was tired he could tell. He was going to have to work on getting his strength back up. Making his way out of the kitchen, Raphael gently crouched down to where Simon was curled up watching Lily.

“W-Where are we going?”

It was an innocent question, but one that Raphael couldn’t help to smile a bit fondly at.

“We’re going home. Lily had Isaiah clean up your room.”

When Raphael learned that his second had ordered this, he couldn’t help but feel a little angry but not for the reason he thought. When he had assessed his feelings, he found that he was angry at another male being in Simon’s room rather than himself. He didn’t feel comfortable knowing someone, a male no less, was rummaging around Simon’s room. Another thing he noticed was that his second seemed to be a few steps ahead of him.

Simon seemed to be in a daze, before his eyes crinkled and the smile that Raphael grew to love appeared on his face. Once again, Raphael had an armful of fledgling. Rolling his eyes fondly at the male, he pressed another kiss to his temple and led him to the door. “It’s almost sunset. Elliot is going to get the car and then we’re going to go home.”

Simon nodded eagerly before looking over to Alec and Magnus, quickly going to them and hugging them. Alec let a soft smile come over his face, leaving Raphael gazing his shock for he had never seen such a soft look on the archers face, before he snapped his attention away, not wanting to intrude on the family moment.

Sighing softly, Raphael walked to Lily and called, “Come on, _bebé._ ”

Seeming satisfied with the hugs he gave his surrogate parents, he pulled away and quickly walked to Raphael smiling at him.

“Let’s go home.”

Raphael couldn’t help the flutter in his chest before he gently grabbed Simon’s hand and led him to the awaiting car that would take them back to the Hotel DuMort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> "Si, estoy aqui. Siempre estaré aquí." - Yes, I'm here. I will always be here.  
> "Idiota." - Idiot  
> "Bebé." - Baby


	5. Yearning, It's a Hunger

When Simon and Raphael arrived back at Hotel DuMort, it was shocking to say the least. Almost all the clan were gathered in the living room, most of them still in their pajamas, some of them dressed for their night. When they had lifted their head to see Simon, they quickly gathered around him, stroking his hair and giving him hugs and pats on the back.

Like Lily, Charlie had hugged Simon close, stroking the baby hairs on the base of his skull. Simon may have broken down once or twice while getting hugged by the clan, before smiling a bit and gently wiping his face.

Raphael had taken the time to step back for a moment to watch as his clan welcome Simon back. It was amazing really, seeing as how when he first betrayed them they were yelling at him, Raphael, to take the kill order off the table, most of them making the good argument of Simon not being a vampire for that long, so of course he was going to side with the people who he had known his whole life instead of those he only knew for a few days.

“Raphael.”

Lily’s voice was soft, her hand resting on his shoulder, “Take care of him, will you?”

Raphael’s expression softened slightly before he nodded, his eyes slitting back to where Simon was half heartedly arguing with Stan about Star Wars, the fledgling getting the vampire into it a few days before his betrayal.

Already, the leader of the New York Clan could tell the difference in Simon’s body language, the baby of their family was finally relaxed, finally able to rest in some peace as he, himself, witnessed his family bring him back into their arms.

After shooing everyone away and leading Simon to his room, he had gently urged the male to get some more rest.

_“Bebé,_ as much as the clan wants to hang out with you, you need more rest. I promise to wake you around nine, so you can get some blood okay?”

Already Simon looked as if he wanted to protest, he was fine. He didn’t want to burden Raphael, he didn’t want to cause any more trouble for his fanged family. Raphael seemed to interrupt his thoughts.

“I won’t have you starving yourself.”

Raphael’s voice was rough, but Simon could feel the familiar fondness sneaking up behind the rough words. Simon didn’t want that fondness. He hasn’t found Camille yet, he has been so busy he didn’t even get a chance to look.

“Sleep.”

Simon knew that voice left no room for argument despite the softness of the words. Settling back into his bed, his comfortable bed surrounded by millions of posters, Simon sighed and closed his eyes.

Sleep took him faster than he wanted.

Raphael had gone straight to sleep after Simon, having spent most of the day awake with Simon and feeding him. When sleep had claimed him, it allowed the stressfulness of the situation leak out. He knew it was too good to last, for soon a loud pain filled screamed filled the hotel.

Simon.

Raphael shot up, his body pushing itself to his max as he tried to get to Simon’s room as quick as possible. The fledgling was asleep, thrashing around, his claws out, neck and arms bleeding from how hard he had scratched himself. He was healing, the _idiota_ wasn’t healed enough yet. Ignoring the worried looking Lily and the worried looks from the rest of the clan, he rushed into Simon’s room.

“Lily, get them out of here.”

Lily didn’t hesitate in turning and shooing the others from the door way, closing the door just as Raphael grabbed Simon and tugged him up, “Simon! Baby, _bebé_ , it’s okay. It’s me baby. It’s me, _amor._ ”

Raphael almost reeled back in how fast Simon jerked towards him, sobbing.

"Raphael? Camille, she- I couldn't- My body- So much blood, I couldn't wake-..."

Simon was barely making any sense, yet the clan leader understood, the fledging had dreamt of his turning and his death by Camille's hand. Raphael didn’t comment as his bloody tears soaked the tank top he was wearing. Didn’t comment as he brushed his fingers through his hair.

“Simon. Simon, you’re not healing, you need to drink.”

Before Raphael knew what, he was doing he was gently pushing his fledglings face into his neck. He could feel Simon shake his head before his hunger took over. Raphael had to hold in the pleasured moan that suddenly racked his body as Simon’s fangs pieced the skin of where his pulse point used to be.

It was relaxing, he could admit that. Relaxing hearing Simon drink from him and relaxing as Simon seemed to cradle his body as if he were made of glass. He didn’t have to tell Simon that was enough, for the former mundane was pulling away and gently licking the bite marks that marred his skin before he looked at Raphael.

“You let me drink from you.” The surprised tone Simon used was soft, almost sounding hopeful and in the back of his mind, he remembered Quinn informing Simon about the intimacy of when a vampire drinks from another vampire.

Raphael looked away and rubbed his neck, before standing slightly and holding out his hand.

“Come on. There’s blood all over your sheets.”

Before Simon could even respond, Raphael was holding his hand in a gentle embrace and was gently leading him to his own bedroom. In honesty, Raphael was nervous. He had never shown anyone his bedroom, what if Simon didn’t like it? Thought the old pictures of his family were dumb?

Raphael had to shake his head a bit, he had to remind himself that this was Simon, not Camille or anyone else. Licking his lips slightly, he opened up his door and led the vampire in. Watched the male from the corner of his eye, he smiled a bit when he saw Simon’s eyes widen before looking to Raphael who led him to the bed.

“Come on, and before you open your mouth, yes, I want you here.”

Simon couldn’t help but feel what little blood he had rush up into his cheeks, though he knew the elder vampire couldn’t see it, he couldn’t stop the bashful and sheepish look from coming over his face.

Simon had blinked though when something wet hit his face. It was a wash cloth, frowning, he looked down at himself before noticing that he was covered in blood, his own blood. That sheepish look was back, as he cleaned himself off, gently taking the offered shirt from Raphael, tugging the old and dirtied one off his chest, he weakly tugged on the black tank top Raphael gave him and crawled into the bed, immediately curling up on the side that was engulfed with Raphael’s scent.

“Thank you, Raphael.”

Simon’s words were soft, Raphael noticed that first as he laid next to Simon, a small smile threatening to take over his face as Simon quickly buried his face in his leader’s chest. Raphael didn’t protest, simply pulled Simon closer and whispered in an equally soft voice,

_“Duérmete, mi amor. Estaré aquí cuando despiertes.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> "Idiota." - Idiot  
> "Bebé." - Baby  
> "Amor." - Love  
>  "Duérmete, mi amor. Estaré aquí cuando despiertes." - Sleep, my love. I'll be here when you wake up.


End file.
